Dear Ronnie James Dio

First, let me just say that I am an enormous fan of your work. Yours is one of the greatest voices in heavy metal and your work with Rainbow, Black Sabbath, Dio, and Heaven and Hell are among the best and most influential performances in rock and roll which have been of monumental value to me during my formative years. I'd also like to thank you personally for popularizing the whole sign of the horns thing. That was a pretty big deal.

However, you are a hack lyricist. Nothing you have ever written makes the slightest bit of sense. Your lyrics sound really cool, but are basically word salads. Let me quote for you an excerpt from "Heaven and Hell," the song which you have been quoted calling your favorite and deepest work of your career:

"Well if it seems to be real, it's illusion
for every moment of truth, there's confusion in life
Love can be seen as the answer, but nobody bleeds for the dancer"

That is almost deep, but in the end is completely devoid of any meaning. I'm not saying that necessarily a bad thing. You do seem to know what you're good at, which is writing lyrics which at the very least sound cool, and I guess that's all you need in metal. I'm not asking you to change. All I'm saying is that you may have schizophasia and you might want to get that checked out.

Come and make me holy again,
Nicko