You guys seriously need to calm down and get over yourselves. Your product is not as much of a safety hazard as you’re making it out to be. Each bag of popcorn is infested with warnings about scalding oil and horribly scarring burns. I know we live in an age of ubiquitous frivolous lawsuits, but show some restraint and dignity. The words “Handle carefully: very hot oil and bag!” are printed on the bag six times. Once would have been plenty. Once would have told me all I need to know: that I might burn myself a bit if I shove my entire forearm into the bag immediately after taking it out of the microwave. Six times makes it sound like I’m handling volatile radioactive materials (which I guess is okay, since it makes me feel important and dangerous).
I find some of the other warnings printed on your bags to be offensively paranoid. “Carefully remove bag from microwave, keeping children away.” What is this mess? I say, if some impatient punk-ass kid is retarded enough to burn himself with a bag of popcorn, screw him. He deserved it. Let him burn. “Open away from face”? Or what, it will melt off? It’s not the freaking Ark of the Covenant, it’s a bag of popcorn!
Instead, I suggest you print on your bags some actually pertinent warnings, such as “We recommend chewing more than you feel is necessary to avoid lodging jagged shards of corn shrapnel in you esophagus” or “This product is actually not very good, and may become even less desirable upon continued consumption.” That would have saved me a lot of trouble.
Impotently enraged,
Nicko
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