Thursday, November 19, 2009

Dear Fans of Nirvana

Clearly, I'm missing something here, because I cannot fathom why you people make such a big deal about this band. I have failed to find a single redeeming quality in their work. It's dissonant, droning, whiny, and utterly devoid of any lyrical meaning. Nirvana is one of the worst things to ever happen to popular music; the grunge movement that they inspired was a musical dark age, and, frankly, I'm glad that Kurt Cobain blew his worthless brains out when he did, before he could do any more damage. Cobain was bad at his job. He was an atrocious lyricist, an unimpressive guitarist, and sang like a deranged homeless man. He was a talentless sad sack of shit who only became successful because he got lucky and happened to appeal to a disgruntled generation of stupid kids looking for a new genre of music that would piss off their parents, whom he eventually came to loathe.

In fact, I am of the opinion that Kurt Cobain killed himself because he couldn't do anything right. And I respect that. It's taking natural selection into your hands, deliberately strengthening the gene pool.

If you consider yourself musically inspired by Kurt Cobain, may I kindly ask that you go all the way and swallow a shotgun yourself.

This is not open for discussion,
Nicko

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